Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Looking up even when its hard to see

Today I quit my job. I really don't want to hash out all the reasons I did what I did. I just had to. I feel like a failure and no matter how many people tell me that I'm not. I still let myself down. I had to stand up for myself and fight for what was right. I had to. I had to do it no matter the cost. I kept telling myself this. I kept repeating it over and over in my head. "Katie stand up for yourself". And in the end I did. Now I feel bad. I feel like it's another job I quit this year. Can I even keep a job?

I walked all the way home in the rain, tears streaming down my face and asking Curtis for forgiveness. I told him I wouldn't quit another job without finding a new one first. But I did it. He said that it was fine and he is happy that I did it.

But I still feel the pain of it. I feel like a looser. I feel like I will never find a good fit for myself. I keep holding back tears, I want to know that what I did was the right thing. But I don't.

1 comment:

  1. you will find something Katie, but take the time you need to be sure its a good fit. Curtis saw that this was not a good fit for you which is why he was happy about you quitting and finding something new. Don't give up hope.